If you follow me on Twitter you’d have heard that the other night I found out that my parents found out…… that I do porn.
It hasn’t gotten to the point where they know what kind of porn I do. They just know now that I’ve done porn.
First thing that pops into my head, that son of a bitch! I thought I knew who it was……. I was completely wrong!
I assumed that it was a guy that my mom worked with, I was told initially that it was a “fellow manager”, because he is gay and I figured it was a matter of time until that was brought up between him and my mom, I just hoped that I had the chance/balls to talk to them before he did.
By the way, if you’re reading this, I totally apologize for thinking it was you. Of course, you wouldn’t have known that if I didn’t just say this. Damn it.
Turns out today as I’m talking to my dad, it turned out it was a woman that my mom worked with. First thought that pops into my head, “I wonder if she knows her husband is a closet case?” Turns out what happened was the husband had ordered some porn, apparently my porn, as a trial membership or something and forgot to cancel it so the billing wouldn’t recur and show up in their bank statements.
His first mistake. IF YOUR WIFE WORKS AT A BANK, DON’T ORDER GAY PORN WITH YOUR JOINT ACCOUNT!!!!!!
Second mistake. MAKE SURE YOU CANCEL IT!!!!
Sooooo, his wife is checking their account statement and notices a transaction she doesn’t recognize. Hmmmmmm, let me just type in this web address. SamuelOtoole.com Loading….. Loading….. My god! There’s a penis in that man’s mouth! Wait a minute…… Is that my boss’ son? Hmmmmmm, husband is gay, must cause problems for strangers……
She then proceeds to contact my mom, “Hey, just wanted to tell you before someone else does(LIKE WHO?!), but you’re son is on a porn site.” Bitch needs a slap of intelligence upside the head, knock some cobwebs loose.
I would love to own that look of satisfaction.
Now here’s where I start to get really frustrated, and I’m probably going to cuss A LOT, and say some pretty rude fucked up shit.
But what the fuck dumb bitch?! Really though, who the fuck is going to tell my parents?! The only way I saw my parents finding out, from the guy my mom works with(much respect to him for not doing it), a random fan saying hi to me in front of my parents, another family member, and me.
Really?! You just wanted to let her know before someone else does. Bitch, you are full of shit! Know why I think she did it? Some fucked up thing in her head makes her think it’s going to change things for her and what’s going on with her husband. Maybe she wanted another family just as fucking miserable as her to make her feel better. Well guess what bitch, I wasn’t being used as a beard(partner of opposite sex whose main purpose is for you to appear straight) for 20 years, so there’s no way this is going to hurt for me as bad as it will for you.
I’m not saying I don’t have sympathy for the women this happens to, but there is no way in hell I will ever feel sorry for you if you try and start a shit storm in my life.
Normally, I would have to say that if I hear about this I would feel sympathetic for both sides. But when you start fucking with me, or my family. I’ll go Buffalo Bill on your ass and fuck shit up!
Now here’s what I feel about outing someone in general, DON’T DO IT!!!! It’s not YOUR RIGHT! If you out someone else, on anything not just being gay, you deserve a nut shot. Nope, not a bunch of nuts in a shot glass. But this……
or this one
whooops, typed in “testicular trauma” in Google….. I just died a bit on the inside.
On to happier thoughts!
So yeah, don’t out people, and just because you’ve got some fucked up shit going on in your life, doesn’t mean fucking up someone else’s day is going to make yours any easier or better.
Love you all, equality and respect for everyone!
Until next time guys,