It’s the beginning of THE END!!!

Well, I dunno, it depends on how you feel about that sort of stuff. So, apparently all over the world around New Years Eve birds, fish, and crabs died…..  and that means the apocalypse is coming. Well, that’s what some people think. I’m not the sort of person to say “NO! You’re an idiot, there’s no possible way that the world is going to implode in 2012 and we all die. Idiot!” Becasue A) I know that I’m not right. B) I’d rather put forth a different idea, than to just shoot down the efforts of others. So here’s kind of where I’m at, and a few of the ideas that others are having.

The first incident I heard about, like most other Americans, was the thousands or millions of birds “falling” from the sky. What I think is that some guy has been capturing these birds and keeping them in his basement, and then on New Years Eve he killed them all by forcing them all to inhale CO2 so that they would suffocate to death, and then he ran around Arkansas butt ass naked throwing birds around from a purple velour bag.

I’m kidding, that’s not actually what I think lol In all honesty the first thing that popped into my head was chemicals. Having a background in Fire Tech and HazMat, I had the opportunity to learn about Weapons of Mass Destruction and all that fun stuff that countries and terrorist organizations use to kill. Right, fun stuff, in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm in the text. So, the birds, first thing that popped into my head was that possibly the government was testing delivery method for a chemical to be used in warfare. We can’t really get away with testing weapons on Canada or Mexico, that’d be a little too obvious, so why not test it on our own people. Can’t honestly say that it would be the first time.

But how come the birds in the air were affected, but not the humans on the ground, Sammy? Well, this has to do with Vapor Densities of chemicals, and reactions to PPMs. Vapor density refers to whether a vapor is heavier than air, or lighter than air. Air is referred to as having a vapor density of “1”, whereas Helium and Hydrogen, two “floating” gases are lighter than air, and would have vapor densities of less than 1.

What this means is that if a chemical were lighter than air, it would “float” above all the houses and people. But wouldn’t it be blown away? That depends. I don’t know what the weather is like in Arkansas, but I know that it was freaking cold! Soooo, if there were little to no wind, a vapor cloud of chemicals lighter than air could hover or move very slowly across the atmosphere, giving the poor birdies enough contact time with the chemical to be affected, and die.

But it’d have to be A LOT of chemicals, right? Unfortunately, no. Animals tend to be more susceptible and react faster to chemicals than humans do, which means they require a lesser amount of exposure to be affected. This is where the PPMs come in, parts per million. What that fancy technical term means is that per million parts/molecules, say 36 PPMs will kill you, out of 1,000,000 molecules that you inhale, 36 or more of chemical “X” will kill you, and 23-35 and you have a 90% chance of dying, and 14-22 and you will be extremely sick and require hospitalization, and so on and so forth.

That concept kinda freaks people out when they first find out about it, especially when you tell them you can fit enough anthrax on the head of a pin to kill a small room filled with people. I know, reassuring, right?

But anyways, so that’s my perverse little idea as to why the thousands or millions, no one seems to have a solid number, of birds fell from the sky. Other people have a few more logical ideas, and other have a few more conspiracy theories ;D

The easiest and simplest concept to grasp “It was cold” Yes, yes it was. In the UK a bunch of crabs died and washed up on shore. I know, they’re not birds, but still a bunch of random dead animals. The UK reported that it was because of the extreme temperature of the water at the time, and that the same thing had happened last year. Animals don’t get to put on jackets or turn up the heater when it gets too cold for them, so they just kinda go till they die of cold. Which is a very believable theory as to why the animals have been dying. But global warming! Right, global warming….. I think the hottest it got this summer was like 92. I had more cold overcast days this past summer, than I did in the month of October. Haven’t had my coffee yet, so my demeanor is a little rough around the edges at the moment ;D

But, some people would rather not leave well enough alone, and have better ideas! First off The HAARP project(High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) phew, that’s a mouth full ;D I really have no idea what goes on with the HAARP there are millions of theories as to what they CAN do and what they are ACTUALLY doing. The whole thing is surrounded with conspiracy theories. It has always seemed so outlandish and Sci-Fi that I’ve never really taken it serious enough to learn anything about it. So I’ll let this YouTube video with a stuttering guy to tell you a bit about it, if you want. It’s kinda creepy.

What people are saying is that with all the ionosphere stuff that they’re doing, HAARP somehow killed all those birds and fish, and crabs, and anything else that’s going to pop up.

Another theory is the earths magnetic fields. The earths “true North” is constantly shifting, and animals are thought to be able to sense the earth’s magnetic fields and follow it for migratory purposes. What some people are proposing is that this shift has altered the course of the birds migrating, and taken them through weather their bodies are unable to handle. Sooooo, once again, it’s the cold, but it’s an explanation as to why the birds would fly into such a cold area.

But then again I’m a porn star, what do I know about  Birds? Well, I know about the birds and the bees ;D But no really, I have no idea how common those birds are in Arkansas, if it’s a freak accident that they’re even in that area or what. I didn’t do any real research on this, I read about others opinions and decided to put my own up.

But you know what they say about opinions… they’re like assholes, everyone has one. I have something for that as well, my asshole is on the internet, why can’t my opinion be too ;D

I hope you all enjoyed this little blurb of the random shit that was going through my mind this morning. I just want to put in a little disclaimer that 99.9% of this is opinion and not to be taken as fact, so don’t cite me as a resource in your next term paper.

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend, and I hope I see you all tonight at my cam show with my good buddy Tyler Torro! He’s going to be my special guest tonight at 5PM PST. Sign up to my site www.samuelotoole.com and you get to watch the whole show for FREE!!!

See you all there ;D

Sammy